Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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