Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize