Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize