It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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