after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize