my being single is dangerous.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize