is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
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So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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