i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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