You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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