I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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