The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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