I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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