She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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