3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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