Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize