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And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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