ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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