Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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