ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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