You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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