Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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