I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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