I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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