dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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