My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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