He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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