apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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