Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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