Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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