so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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