I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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