This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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