my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize