I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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