Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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