HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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