oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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