I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize