He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize