It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize