you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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