Pappa wants mamma naked
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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