one might say we're banned from that church
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize