Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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