It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
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ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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