dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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