No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you win again, gameday.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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