His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Text me some of your sweat
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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