mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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