The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
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I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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